“Is that an icicle in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?”

 

“I’ve become frostsmitten with you.”

 

“My love for you will last forever… green.  Like the trees.”

 

“I wasn’t joking, I think an icicle fell in your pants.”

 

“If you were a DEER, I’d never try to REIN you in. Because I respect you as an individual person with your own hopes and dreams.  Do you want to go discuss our independent plans for the future?  Maybe read some Margaret Atwood?  I value your opinion.”

 

“I’ll give you a real reason to wear that ugly turtleneck.”

 

“Seriously, it’s weird that you haven’t taken the icicle out of your pants yet.  It’s starting to melt… aren’t you cold?”

 

“Also, I was so frostsmitten that my hand had to be amputated. Thanks.”

 

“And who wears turtlenecks anymore?”

 

“Do you want to see my snowballs?”

 

“Okay! Nevermind!”

 

“You and this weather have one thing in common.  You’re both frigid.”

 

“I’d like to hibermate with you.”

 

“Okay, I’ll admit that that crossed the line.”

 

“ Where are are you going? I wanted to eggnsnog you!”

 

“Well, it looks like I’m going to have to jacket off this winter.”