This week my column isnâ€™t going to be about sports. Itâ€™s going to be about something more relevant to my life. Maybe thatâ€™s selfish, but right now sports are the farthest thing from my mind. Whatâ€™s on my mind right now? Loss and how much it sucks.
Losing someone is in my opinion one of the most painful things a person can feel. Â Many of you probably agree with me if you have experienced losing someone.
So how should I go about getting over the loss is what I am wondering. Â How does anyone go about it? I mean Iâ€™ve lost all my other grandparents but not the one grandparent Iâ€™ve been closest to. Â Itâ€™s not an easy task. Â We donâ€™t think much about it as kids because we donâ€™t really understand the situation, but the older one gets the more it seems to hurt.
Psychologists have written tons of Â books about dealing with grief, but I donâ€™t have time to read a book like that, and I think they are all full of crap. How can any one person make a generalized assumption about how someone should deal with his or her issues? Everyone is different in the way they deal with their issues, and letâ€™s be frank: people have a ton of issues.
If a book isnâ€™t the answer then maybe itâ€™s just talking to people. Â They (experts, I guess) say that talking it out always helps. This helps if someone asks something about him, but things like â€œAre you okay?â€ I mean, what are you even supposed to say? â€œMy grandfather died and I am perfectly fine.â€ No shit Iâ€™m upset about it and not okay.
Sometimes it helps when people comfort me. But comforting usually ends in hugging, and I am not much of a hugger. Hugging also just makes me cry more about it, so that option is thrown out the window. Â The people that try and comfort always have the same thing to say. Â â€œSorry for your loss,â€ â€œit will get better,â€ etc. It is very sweet of them to reach out and say their condolences, but that isnâ€™t really helping the situation either.
What is my solution to this problem then? Two things: good memories and distractions. Browse Pinterest, go to Main Street and get my favorite pasta dish, catch up on the latest episode of Bones; pretty much anything else but thinking about the situation. When I do think about the situation I look at happy pictures of my grandpa dressed in his full cowboy attire (boots, Leviâ€™s, belt buckle, tucked-in pinstriped shirt Â and hat â€“ the whole nine yards), the jokes he pulled on everyone (he was a rodeo clown for years) and the art he taught me.
All of the happy thoughts put a smile on my face. Smiling keeps me distracted from how much I miss him. And this is what is working for me now. This is my formula for dealing with loss. Maybe itâ€™s not yours, but thatâ€™s good because everyone needs their own formula. Loss is all around us, and yes it does suck, but as clichÃ© as it is, it is going to get better. I know it is because Pop would have wanted it to.