I used to draw a lot, and though I wonâ€™t state any definitive judgements on whether I was good or bad, I certainly wasnâ€™t the best, though I did rather enjoy myself. Â Though I drew all the time, I never really improved very much. Â I guess I never really had a point of reference to compare myself to, in a way, and there were no classes where I could just sit and draw all the time instead of paying attention to what was going on.
In high school, I became friends with a girl who was absolutely phenomenal, and we would sit next to each other in our classes and draw together. Â Sometimes I would just sit there and watch her draw, and I would think about the strokes of her pencil and how she was able to draw almost anything. Â I guess I was able to somehow absorb her technique because I started getting better, too. Â We had a lot of time to draw; I mean it was high school so itâ€™s not like we were learning anything substantial.
Once I came to college, I didnâ€™t really draw anymore. Â At first it was because I didnâ€™t feel like it, I was too tired, I was too depressed, or I had no idea what even to draw. Â The thing is I just kind of stopped. Â Sure, every once in a while Iâ€™d take out my sketchbook and maybe doodle a couple things, but that was maybe once or twice a month at best, and if I put my pencil down to do something else I didnâ€™t really have the motivation to pick it back up and finish what I had started.
When I finally regained my will to draw, I was too busy to actually act on it. Â It would always happen around times where I had a bajillion tests, essays or projects, and wasting two hours on something completely unrelated would have delayed me getting to bed until five in the morning. Â I just didnâ€™t have time.
So, it was this vicious cycle of either being too unmotivated to draw or too busy to draw, that when I was motivated I was too busy, and when I had nothing to do I was too unmotivated. Â You may think that Iâ€™m going to say something about overcoming this, but youâ€™re wrong. Â Iâ€™m still wedged firmly in the wheel of unmotivation, so no inspirational resolutions here.
This weekend I did start making art again, and I had forgotten how satisfying it was. Â It was one of those rare occasions when my motivation to do art coincided with me not being very busy. Â I know that my motivation will probably fade within the next three or four days but Iâ€™d like to make use of it as much as I can until that happens.
Lauren Shroeter is a junior religion and geology major.