I think we can all admit that everybody came into college with a certain image in mind. Â Maybe you thought itâ€™d be like the film â€œAnimal House,â€ but in slow-mo, so it lasts four years. Or maybe you thought itâ€™d be reading Goethe with all your like-minded friends out on the lawn atop a hemp blanket. you probably thought youâ€™d be getting an amazing education while building connections that would last forever, leading to a happy and healthy life and career. Â Hereâ€™s the thing: these things may all be well and good, but letâ€™s not put such high expectations on our experiences. Â I think a lot of things in college are getting a little â€œoverrated.â€ So this is my small intervention for all you young liberal arts-ers to explain some things that could possibly be cooled down.
Okay, I understand the one- cup-a-day policy because, face it, mornings are tough and I need some artificial stimulation to get going. However, when I see kids guzzling caffeine at 1 a.m. because they have a two-page paper to write, I lose my ability to sympathize. Â Why do we all feel the need to drink so much coffee? Is it part of â€œnerd cultureâ€ to act like your life is so busy and important that you constantly need to be on the go? Â And, as for those late- night cram sessions where there is literally no other way to keep your head off the table, maybe you should consider avoiding them with crazy things like time management. Â When I drink coffee, I feel only superiority and anxiety, two things I probably have enough of already. Â On the plus side, coffee is a natural diuretic!
Speaking of time management, when did staying up all night because you procrastinated for two months become a socially acceptable thing to do? Â The only reason that anybody actually subjects themselves to this cruelty is because they convince themselves that itâ€™s okay to watch another three episodes of â€œBreaking Badâ€ if they just cut out sleeping. Â Then, the next day, they brag to all their little friends about how that killer project they could have done all semester better get an A because of the spiritual harm it is currently causing them. Â Guess what? Youâ€™re not going to get an A. Iâ€™ve known amazing students that have double majors in neuroscience and art, yet have never once done homework after 2 a.m. Why? Because they do their homework before taking three- hour nightly trip to Taco C to catch up with old friends.
Dressing Nicely in Class
I get that this is Trinity and weâ€™re supposed to dress nicely ALL THE TIME, but think about how awesome sweatpants are. Â If we all just threw away these dumb â€œsocial normsâ€ and just wore pajamas to class every day, weâ€™d probably all be significantly happier. Â Also, Iâ€™d get to sleep in an extra ten minutes, so thereâ€™s literally no downside. Â Viva la resistance!
We all think weâ€™re smart. Â Some of us even think weâ€™re so smart that we can write for a school newspaper. Â Personally, whenever I get those pesky feelings of superiority (all the time), I immediately turn to sarcasm. Â But I think that, while weâ€™re all growing up and attempting to discover what kind of people we want to be, maybe we can be genuine about some stuff. Â Maybe we can discover subjects that we can be unironically and uninhibitedly passionate about. But, whatever. Itâ€™s probably a pretty lame idea.