You know, I always think of my best ideas right before I fall asleep, whether it be for an essay I need to write, a poem or a story.  For some reason, lying down with the intent to sleep clears my brain of all the stupid things that cloud it throughout the day and kicks my imagination into gear like nothing else.  It’s actually quite amazing.  The problem is that I fall asleep (like I was trying to do), and when I wake up, I’ve completely forgotten them.

See, this exact thing happened with this column.  On Saturday night (or Sunday morning, you know how it is), I thought of the greatest thing to write about for this week.  It was original, incredibly interesting and something people would actually want to read.  At least I think it was.  I wrote out the entire intro for it in my head, and even outlined a general plan for how the rest of it would go.

As my mind drifted off to sleep, I thought “I’ll definitely remember this in the morning.”  I didn’t.  The next morning, rather than waking up remembering the absolutely amazing idea I had, I woke up with to taste of disappointment and self-loathing in my mouth (if you must know, disappointment and self-loathing taste a bit like cherry-flavored cough drops; over-processed, ridiculously sweet, with a tinge of bitterness and pain relief).  So, instead of reading the awesome and super informative column I envisioned for this week, you’re stuck reading another edition of “that weird girl rambles about something incredibly boring again.”

Ok, so since I forget the ideas by morning, you’d probably think that there’s no way for me to actually know whether it was a good idea or not, but let me just say that if it were a bad idea, I would certainly remember it.  I would remember it with clarity, down to every minor detail.  That’s just how things work, I mean, it’s a universal truth that bad ideas are one-thousand times more memorable than good ones.  It’s the scientific law of Disappointment and Poor Taste.

I guess this happens to everyone, but I still can’t help but be disappointed in myself, possibly because I’m always disappointed in myself to some extent.  It would be smart to keep a notebook nearby when I slept, so that if I had any of these “poorly-timed ideas” I could write them down, but I’m not that kind of person.  I prefer to delude myself into believing that I actually will remember things in the morning.  It makes me feel better.  Whatever your solution is, it’s probably more productive than mine.

Lauren Schroeter is a junior geology and religion major.