This is it: my last article ever for the Trinitonian. EVER. Hell, this is one of the last things I’ll write while attending this university, assuming I actually graduate (I’m looking at you, History of Theatre II research paper). It’s impossible to come up on graduation and not feel a little nostalgic, a little sad — and then there’s the terror of knowing that this is possibly the last time I will be considered a student. People expect things out of me now, and a bunch of people are starting to expect money from me for having gone here for four years; and yet, what I think about most is: is it OK for me to continue playing video games?

I know that doesn’t make sense coming from me, but I’ve always felt there was a stigma for gamers who weren’t high school or college-aged. I know that’s wrong, and that statistics show that the 20-30 demographic is one of the most avid age groups for gaming. I guess the problem for me lies in that gaming was such a huge part of my childhood and growing up. I remember playing “Spiderman” over and over again on my Playstation the Christmas I got it. I remember playing “Enter the Matrix” for months even though I knew (and the critics certainly knew) it was abysmal. Video games have always been “my thing” amongst friends. This involved trying not to talk about games too much and doing my best to ignore the body language of my friends who were only trying their best to humor me. I created a website, consistently read more about games than I did for anything in school, wrote dozens of articles, published some in some academic gaming journalism web pages, considered going to grad school for video games — and even convinced myself for a while that it was a good idea.

Don’t misunderstand me: I still love games, and I’d love to make it in that business somehow. Now I just have to ask myself if that passion of mine has a place in a world that seems intent on making sure I never have money. Keeping up with gaming is expensive stuff, especially with the prospect of new home consoles late next year. Games themselves are at least $60, and at the rate PC games are advancing technologically, I’ll have to continually upgrade my computer.

It’s simply a lot to handle, considering that I have to find somebody who will employ me in return for American currency, as well as balancing that with my theatrical aspirations. I’ve been unbelievably lucky to have been able to keep up with gaming over the years, as well as being allowed to try and talk about games in a way that I feel they ought to be — intelligently.

I know this is dramatic, but I’m graduating, damn it. I know not many read me, but if you did or do, thank you. I clearly have some decisions to make.