If you’re stuck without a mode of transportation, let me begin by saying I am so incredibly sorry. I feel your pain like you can’t even imagine. Being at Trinity without a car is much like placing a baby in a cradle and saying, “Go forth and explore!” The good news is, there’s still this thing people do called walking. I think I’ve mentioned before how much I dislike having to expend energy (especially into recreational walking) but hey, if you’re into that kind of thing like Ben Conway is, then I have a few places you should probably stumble upon (by foot).

The Witte Museum (3801 Broadway St.)

Okay maybe it’s closer to biking or horseback riding distance, but perhaps you’ve got an hour or so to kill. Why not spend it killing calories walking to the Witte Museum? The Witte Museum has an impressive list of past exhibits, but their featured exhibit right now is called “Mummies of the World: The Exhibition” which includes ancient mummies and artifacts more than 6,000 years old. (If you want to learn more about the mummies, check out Paul Cuclis’ article at www.trinitonian.com). The museum is open almost all year round, and tickets for general admission are $10, or free if you have your Trinity I.D. Take a group with you and get yourself educated and cultured.

The Kiddie Park (3015 Broadway St.)

You know it, you’ve seen it, you’ve gotten a little creeped out by it. Don’t worry; you’re not alone. I can’t say I’ve even seen a small child in or around that place, which arguably gives it that unsettling abandoned feel I know too well from all those 90s horror films. But fret not, The Kiddie Park is indeed open for business, my children. After Thursday, Sept. 1, the park is open Friday through Sunday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Take a leisurely stroll over to reconnect with your inner child, or maybe go after hours and get a little weird. Though I don’t condone trespassing.

Now moving on to “the strip”: the St. Mary’s strip, that is, where you can explore the wonders of commerce without all the herpes of Vegas (no promises though).

Brackenridge Park (3700 N. Saint Mary’s St.)

If you’re looking to roast s’mores, go on a train ride, study in the nice weather or even fish in the river (a homeless guy once told me he caught two huge bass — to believe or not to believe…), Brackenridge Park is the place for you. On top of all of that, it’s free of charge and just a stone’s throw away from Trinity.

San Antonio Zoo (3903 N. Saint Mary’s St.)

If you didn’t know that the San Antonio Zoo was in walking distance of Trinity, change that. Admission is cheap (around $12) and cotton candy is always a good idea. Do bring a few friends, because going to the zoo alone is sad.

Hardbodies Ladies Club (2726 N. Saint Mary’s St.)

You mean to tell me that there’s a strip club within walking distance of Trinity University? Why yes, yes there is. Next time you’re bored over the weekend, you truly have no excuse not to walk your butt over to the sexiest strip club (in walking distance). With irresistible dancer names like “Fuego,” “Envy” and my best friend’s personal favorite “Jimmy Steele,” how can you possibly resist? Plus, lap dances are only $20!  Even poor college kids can afford that price every now and then. Now that, my friend, is a “steele” if I ever heard of one.