I’m sure many of you have either heard of or experienced directly the stereotype of school cafeteria food: the horror, the misery, the greasy nasty pizza substitute.

As incoming students, you may have similar notions about Mabee, reinforced by the many claims that the food there “˜isn’t that great.’  Well, you’re wrong, and anyone who tells you that is also wrong.  They are so wrong it is classified as a sin.

Unknown to many, there was actually an eleventh commandment: that Trinity students should only have the best of cafeterias, and this secret eleventh commandment was followed through to a T.

Alright, I’ll admit, the food isn’t the finest cuisine in the world, but I like it, and students still eat there despite their complaints.

The food is good and there are a variety of things to choose from, if you’re picky.  The secret is to get there right when they are putting out new food, especially in between the morning and lunch periods.  That way, you get to experience the joy of food that hasn’t been sitting out for several hours, and, most importantly, fresh cookies.

What, exactly, is it that makes Mabee so great?  Three things:

1) It’s convenient.  First-year dorms are all located extremely close to Mabee; you barely need to even step out your door and you’re there.

2) You’re paying for it anyway as part of your meal plan, so you might as well enjoy it.  After all, you don’t want your money to go to waste, do you?

3) It’s all-you-can-eat.  You can sit in there for three hours and eat nothing but pizza, cookies and ice cream.  You can eat pizza, cookies and ice cream every single day if you want to.  I personally wouldn’t recommend that, and I’m sure your doctor wouldn’t either, but the choice is still there and that’s what really counts.

I myself find that Mabee is an excellent place to study and get work done.  I mean, I could just study in the library, but does the library have an all-you-can-eat buffet?  I didn’t think so.  Silence is such an overrated study tool, I find it is much easier to memorize important information when I have a continuous stream of food entering my mouth.

Let me tell you something about Mabee.  The food there is hand-crafted by the most wonderful of heaven’s angels and delivered to your plate by a unicorn-drawn chariot.  You think I’m joking, but how else can you explain the unicorn hair and angel feathers I found outside?  The Mabee staff is composed of many great people whom I respect and appreciate very much.  I hope you come to respect and appreciate them as much as I do.

Lauren Schroeter is a junior geology and religion major.