At 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday, April 22, the chief of San Antonio Police and the sheriff of Bexar County were called to 420 F Avenue to answer a disturbance call. Upon arriving, the officials discovered a raging college party attended by around 45 Trinity students and one dean Davey Turtle.

Out of the 45 students, 30 were under age. All of the underage students were handed misdemeanors for minor in possession and consumption of alcohol by a minor.

The five seniors who lived at the house were charged with providing alcohol to minors. The seniors were all members of the fraternity Kappa Epsilon Gamma, KEG for short. The dean was charged with being an adult at a college party and given a felony charge for trying too hard to be cool. Turtle plans to fight these charges and will take the case to the Supreme Court if necessary.

“I am outraged by this charge. I am the coolest of the cool and embarrassing in no forms. For me, reputation is essential and I cannot have this felony follow me around, even though jail time would be good for my street cred. I am willing to hire the best lawyers and pay top penny to get off this charge,” Turtle said.

The bust was one of the biggest party busts sheriff Cole Ostamie and police chief Jack Inoff have seen in their combined 69 years of service to the city of San Antonio.

“We haven’t seen a college party this large since 2000 when people thought the world was going to end. It is exciting to ticket this many students at once. It gives me a rush and my boss will be thrilled,” Inoff said.

Trinity now faces the challenge of deciding whether or not to prosecute students under the student conduct board laws.

Since the dean, who is normally in charge of such affairs, cannot help on these cases, the students on the board are left in limbo.

“I really hope they let us off. I mean, who hasn’t gotten trashed with their dean before? It would have been more of a crime if we hadn’t drunk with him and had stayed in,” said first year Tess Tickles.