Ah, my first year at Trinity. I remember walking into the Bell Center on the first day of orientation with bright eyes and a bushy tail. Now my eyes are dull and teary and my tail is knotted and has a bunch of trash and food stuck to it. That’s my life.

However, through my trials of being a student here for the last three years, hopefully I can give you all a few somewhat helpful hints on how to survive the college life at Trinity. Fingers crossed that it works out for all of us!

Professors

You’ve probably heard it a thousand times throughout your admissions process here at Trinity, but our professors really are the bomb-dot-com. Sure, there are the rare cases of students not caring for a professor because they are “boring” or “mean,” and to those people I say: you are weenies. The professors’ job is to make sure you succeed, because if you do well, it gives them personal satisfaction and possibly a pay raise. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to put any effort into your education.

Gone are the days when if you don’t turn in work or miss a bunch of classes your teacher will hound you. The professors here have their own families to take care of and papers to write. They are most likely smarter than any of us will ever be, so we need to suck it up and try to impress them, because they hold the key to our futures in a little thing called recommendation letters.

On that note, to all my professors this semester: I admire each of you. Please like me so I can get into a decent Master’s program next year.

Making Friends

TALK TO EVERYONE. Seriously. Talk to the people in your hall. Talk to the people in your classes. Talk to the Mabee workers. And especially talk to Dean Tuttle. He loves being bothered by our crazy antics. The people on this campus are some of the friendliest people on the planet.

But if anyone is ever mean to you, send him or her my way. I’ll give them a good talking to. I’ve worked with preschoolers this summer, so I’ve got this. College students and preschoolers are the same, right?

Dating

I beg all of you, DO NOT begin a relationship your first few weeks here. You can hang out with that really cute girl from Meridian, Mississippi or flirt hard core with the stud from Wyoming (Are there any students here from Wyoming? Particularly with a lumberjack background? I’m asking for research), but do not commit to a relationship with anyone during the next few weeks. If you do, you might miss the chance to branch out and meet other cool people that are around you and you will limit your social interactions to be with one person, and that’s not healthy.

Also, if anyone tries to tell you who you can hang out with or dictate your schedule, drop his or her ass immediately. You do not want to be dating Edward Cullen or Christian Grey.

Sleep

Sleep whenever you can, wherever you can. Except class, because your professor will probably call you out and make fun of you.

Tell your roommate when you need to go to bed, and if they still need to do work or talk to their loser boyfriend who’s stuck in their hometown working as a busboy at Outback Steakhouse, tell them to do it somewhere else. You need your beauty rest.

On that note, if you are having trouble falling asleep, listen to Sean Connery’s films while lying on your bed. His dulcet Scottish lilt will rock you gently to sleep. Or read your statistics textbook. To each their own.