Photo provided by Soleil Gaffner

To any and all my future employers: I am responsible! Dedicated. Driven. Good with words but okay with numbers. That’s what calculators and Excel spreadsheets were made for. But a robot can’t write superfluous sentences like I can.

To my student body: okay, cool! Just needed to get the disclaimer out of the way. Still unemployed, so I have to be safe. With that being said, if any of y’all have any connections, you know where to find me.

My genuine advice to anyone who’s fortunate enough to afford Trinity’s tuition as it continues to rise every year is simply to spend these four years the best way for you. In the end, nothing you do here will matter that much! Our expiration date is set — you’re out of here one way or another. And in another four years, it’s likely that the impact you make will have been overshadowed by someone else’s. That’s not a bad thing. You’re free.

That means you don’t have to join the clubs that will look good on graduate school or job applications. You join the clubs that teach you more and allow you to grow. Don’t major in economics (the devil’s art) just because your parents don’t think your humanities degree won’t get you anywhere.

Here’s the real deal: our degrees don’t even matter! The CEO of SA2020 majored in theater (before getting a master’s in political science) and our very own Rick Singer, who made over $25 million before getting caught, majored in physical education and English while at Trinity. All that to say — it doesn’t matter what major you choose. You’ll find yourself somewhere.

What I want to stress here is genuinely how privileged these four years are. You are in the Trinity bubble; your professors care about you, your friends care about you, the staff in Health Services and the Center for Experiential Learning and Career Success (CELCS) care about you. While you’re here, take full advantage and spend your energy how you want to spend it.

I also want to disclaim that I’m the most average and low-lying type of student at Trinity. I didn’t disturb the status quo or call out the administration during my time here.

I majored in very compatible subjects and kept my head low as the opinion editor (it’s much more exhausting to put out an opinion after reading all of yours — but I liked it that way). I know my experience is not universal, and I know that sometimes Trinity just isn’t the right fit. There are better places out there, whether you find them now or later doesn’t matter. We’ll all find our place.

(This column might just be me convincing myself that it’s okay I’m unemployed at the time of writing this.)

Finally, a thank you to the people that made these last four years the most transformative and significant of my life. The wonderful, caring staff of CELCS continue to guide me through every professional step I take. The nine other Trinity students who I was lucky enough to study in Madrid, Spain, with will always hold a special place in my heart.

Every person who has ever been on the Trinitonian’s payroll is a kindred spirit who understands what it means to be passionate about a cause that can never pay enough (also, certain staff who also share our basement). Each professor who respected me enough to not comment on my essays being turned in at 2 a.m. I am a better person because of each of you.

The most I learned from Trinity didn’t come from Pathways classes. It came from the incredible people that somehow find their way to Trinity.

My last piece of advice would be to check out more DVDs from the library. They’re free, y’all.