This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here.

Resident assistants (RAs) core responsibility is the management of residential spaces. RAs are typically busy maintaining Trinity’s living spaces behind the scenes, and sometimes even dealing with unimaginable situations. To better understand and recognize the hard work our RAs perform, the Trinitonian asked some RAs about their experiences in residential life.

Margaret Craken, junior geoscience major and finance minor

Margaret Craken has been on the residential life staff for the past two years. Craken first applied to be a resident assistant as a freshman and was inspired by her freshmen RA in Albert Herff-Beze Hall, who was referred to as “The Warden”’ after a series of TUPD arrests took place in her hall. Craken wanted to follow in the footsteps of her inspiring RA and eventually became one the following year.

“The Warden and her practices kept everyone in line in the quaint halls of Beze,” Craken said. “My only wish is that I live up to her legacy.”

As an RA in C.W. Miller Hall, Craken implements the teachings of her mentor when dealing with out-of-line residents. Craken’s biggest enforcement is of strict adherence to quiet hours, Trinity’s policy regarding noise levels between the times of 11 p.m. and 9 a.m. Craken has no room for leniency when it comes to disobeying quiet hours and has thus been awarded the B.F.F.R (Best Facilitative and Friendly Resident) award by Trinity’s residential life.

“I have a zero-tolerance policy for any shenanigans past 11 p.m.,” Craken said. “Just the other day I was polishing a stone from my rock collection and heard the blistering tune of college students enjoying themselves on a Saturday night. I then checked the time, realizing it was 11:02 p.m., and immediately leaped into action. I turned the safety off on my mace, grabbed my baton, and the students were later brought to TUPD and questioned.”

Chad O’Brien, senior ancient Mediterranean studies major

Chad O’Brien first began his residential life journey at the end of his freshman year, but with the competitive pool of applicants, O’Brien did not make it past the first set of interviews. O’Brien then tried the application process again going into junior year, which ended with similar results. Now, in his final year at Trinity, he has managed to fulfill his largest aspirational goal at Trinity: achieving the status of a resident assistant.

“I’ve always known I wanted to be an RA, and was never sure why they didn’t accept me,” O’Brien said. “During the interviews, I talked about the great plans that I would implement as an RA. Like installing hidden cameras in my resident’s rooms so I can always be sure they are doing well. … The entire process has taught me that the third time really is the charm.”

O’Brien emphasized being more than just an RA for his residents. For O’Brien, his role as an RA also includes the roles of friend and mentor.

“I really try to be a friend first and an RA second,” O’Brien said. “For example, just the other day I heard a lot of laughter coming from one of the rooms in my hall. Now, some RAs may have given them a noise complaint, but I simply used my master key to enter their room, and I joined them in a nice game of strip poker.”

Wayne Karr, sophomore computer science major

Wayne Karr never necessarily wanted to be an RA, but he couldn’t resist applying after finding out about the undeniable perks. A large problem Karr had his freshman year was sharing a small room in Harold D. Herndon Hall with another person, as well as the annoyance of quiet hours. As an RA, Karr has his own room and is responsible for the implementation of (not-so) quiet hours.

“There’s honestly so many perks to being an RA,” Karr said. “I get my own room in McLean, and no one really complains about being loud past quiet hours.”

Karr considers himself to be familiar with his residents and considers them to be quite low maintenance. As an RA, Karr tries to promote a safe space where any resident can voice their concerns.

“There isn’t much conflict that goes on in my hall,” Karr said. “I would consider my hall to be really peaceful and drama-free.”

One of Karr’s residents, Rachel Jackson, described his unique RA style. Jackson claims the vibes of her residence hall may differ from Karr’s view.

“We’ve [members of her hall] tried to get Wayne fired from his position of RA for some time now,” Jackson said. “He weirdly plays Super Freaky Girl, by Nicki Minaj on repeat while he studies which can get pretty obnoxious. We can’t really complain about the RA to the RA, so I guess he thinks all is well.”