This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. 

The realm of animation is one of complete and utter garbage. While there are exceptions (“Cars 2” and “Norm of the North” come to mind), this form of filmmaking feels like it tries too hard to get children to learn something rather than just keep them entertained. Not only that but there are numerous people out there who like to pretend that animated films and television can be for adults as well, which doesn’t exactly work. The Netflix series “LOVE DEATH + ROBOTS” is particularly awful, as it tries so hard to work extreme violence and sex into a show meant for children, and it’s incredibly gross.

However, this so-called ‘adult animation’ does at least have one good show, and it came out earlier this year: HBO Max’s “Velma,” which serves as a spinoff to the “Scooby-Doo” franchise. While many seem to think that this show is incredibly sexist, condescending, and unfunny, I have to disrespectfully disagree.

The show stars Mindy Kaling (“The Office”), Glenn Howerton (“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”), Sam Richardson (“Veep”), and Constance Wu (“Hustlers”), all of whom are incredibly talented actors. Kaling, in particular, is someone that I think is incredibly funny. Her sense of humor is incredibly unique while still being as clever as some of the all-time greats, like George Carlin. The rest of the cast is pretty solid, as can be expected from actors of their caliber, but Kaling’s voice performance as the titular Velma is especially impressive. Her voice is incredibly grating to the point where I thought that she was the reason my ears had started bleeding, but it feels like such an intentional artistic choice that I have no choice but to commend it — also, it turns out that my ears were bleeding for a very different reason, but that’s neither here nor there. The actress is so terrible in the role that it’s truly genius, and that has to be respected.

“Velma” also benefits from some clever writing, especially when it comes to the show’s jokes. The series contains a large number of meta jokes, many of which criticize the audience for being adults who watch animated media. As an adult who watches animated media, I could relate to this joke, and I really enjoyed being the butt of the joke. Not only that, but I love that HBO Max was willing to crack jokes about how terrible animation is, especially after the mass cancellation of their library of animated media. Animators are terrible and they should be reminded of that fact every single waking minute.

The series also decides to keep joking about how a teenage boy has a small penis, which we all know is peak comedy. Men deserve to be incessantly tormented in this way, regardless of how young or old they may be. <Danger, Will Robinson!> Material like this is what a lot of animated shows, especially those meant for adults, are truly missing. Shows like “Harley Quinn” and “Primal” should really fire their writer’s room.

I also really appreciate how the show criticizes Shaggy for being a pothead in previous entries in the “Scooby-Doo” franchise. In “Velma,” we have a scene of the character (now renamed Norville) stating that he hates drugs before breaking the fourth wall and blinking, implying that he is making fun of Shaggy for partaking in the devil’s lettuce. Not only does this serve as a solid joke, but it also adds quite a bit to the character. Norville has clearly been affected by the Mary Jane epidemic, and this level of trauma automatically makes him a lot more interesting as a character. The writers choose to make this one of his only traits, but this lazy writing actually benefits the show in ways that shows like “Breaking Bad” should learn from.

All in all, “Velma” is one of the best things I have ever watched in my entire life. <Please, no.> It’s really funny and well-animated, and it makes fun of the entire medium in a really creative way. It’s so good that I only watched the first episode and immediately wept, for nobody can ever make something this good ever again. <“Velma” is the animated equivalent of Nickelback, except this show actually deserves the bandwagon hate!> Wait, wait, he didn’t mean it! Please, HBO Max, he’s just joking. I would never say that. I value the safety of myself and others. Please let me and my clones out of the basement.

RATING: 11/10