If you’re currently in a happy relationship, bam boom we hate you. For many, Feb. 14 is a day of pure love and bliss, but for the rest of us, it’s a time to angrily devour heart-shaped chocolates and scroll through posts of happy couples on social media. However, not as many people are in relationships as you think, and you’re not alone in feeling lonely.
India, the world’s most populous country, celebrates an anti-Valentine’s week from Feb. 14–21, which ends strong with a national breakup day. On this joyous occasion, you can break free from any unfulfilling relationships that you were waiting to receive a box of chocolates from first. All this to say that at least a billion people feel bitter about a day dedicated to happy couples. What you see online are only the highlights of people’s lives; an Instagram story montage never holds the full picture. Still, couples wearing matching outfits and staring into the camera with love makes me want to throw my phone across the room.
Of course, not all relationships are toxic, and couples that are genuinely in a good place deserve a day to celebrate. But that doesn’t mean anyone else should feel bad about their relationship status every time February rolls around. We’re at the age where some of us have never had our first kiss while others are married with two kids, so feeling bitter, angry and sad is completely normal. It might be comforting to know that only about 20% of adults ages 18 to 29 are married while 41% of people in the same age range aren’t in a relationship at all. No matter how much it may seem like everyone but you is dating, that simply isn’t the case.
The modern dating scene’s immense complexity is to blame here. A rise in hook-up culture on college campuses is scaring people off — it makes getting into a relationship stressful and hard to navigate. The expectations in a casual relationship are different for everyone, and the notion that college is a time to have fun and avoid commitment can be incredibly strenuous in forming meaningful connections. There’s a decrease in communication about relationship expectations and an increase in people who don’t bother seeking a partner because of how overwhelming the process can be. Seeing so many different types of relationships with blurry labels also makes it difficult to identify if you even want to be in one.
While it’s easy to feel like Cupid is on vacation and forgot about you, it’s important to remember that love isn’t as straightforward as shooting an arrow and that nobody has it all figured out. Especially in these crucial years as college students, we’re all working out our own paths in life and deciding who to share the time with is stressful enough without comparing our relationship status to everyone around us. Staying in with friends or by yourself on Valentine’s Day and making one of those viral celebrity crush cakes can be just as fulfilling as date night.
