Welcome to another issue of the Trinitonian Sex Corner! It’s cuffing season which means lots of PDA and a desperate need for a brush up on boundaries and consent. The Sexpert is in.

First, let’s define “consent.” According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), consent is “an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity.” However, many factors can complicate consent even if it is a verbal agreement.

Power Imbalances
One of these ways is through unequal power dynamics. These can include student-teacher, sober-not-sober, adult-child, employer-employee and others. One individual has more power than the other, such as the ability to control the opposite party’s answer through grades, money and other factors.

Sobriety and Consent
It is also important to emphasize that people who are not sober cannot consent. This even includes if they consent before they are intoxicated. This is because a person’s ability to make clear, rational decisions is compromised under that circumstance.

Contraception and Communication
Consent can be violated if one party ignores the other party’s request to use any form of contraception. This could mean having unprotected sex without the other party knowing it is unprotected, such as removing the condom or lying about taking contraceptives.

This is NOT an exhaustive list of every factor that could complicate consent, but here are a few bottom-line reminders:
No means no (other forms of lack of consent include a partner stating “I don’t know” or “Maybe later” or silence). If there’s no explicit and enthusiastic agreement, assume it’s a no.

Boundaries are different for every couple. What is cool in one relationship may not be in another.

Consent is a matter of communication — don’t just assume!

You or your partner can withdraw consent at any time.

Thanks for tuning into the Sex Corner! Got any suggestions for future topics? Contact the Trinitonian staff. See you next time for another sexy column!