What the Super Bowl can do for you

You may not like football. I get that. Not everyone does. Chances are, if you don’t like football, you aren’t going to be reading this column… in the sports section. But for those who undoubtedly look in the sports section just for my column every week, this column is for you – the non-football lovers. Why am I writing this to you? I hope you already know the answer to that question – the Super Bowl is this Sunday, arguably the biggest day of the year for football.

Now, if you don’t like football, chances are you don’t like the Super Bowl; that’s obvious. However, I’m going to give these people who aren’t football fans some reason to watch it because there are some things the Super Bowl can do for you.

It gives you reason to…

1) Drink on a Sunday. For some, there is no reason necessary, but for the majority of the people who don’t usually drink on Sundays, here is one. On the Sundays from August-January, drinking is fairly socially acceptable, because, duh, it’s football season, but others will occasionally object to that. No one should or can object to Sunday drinking on Super Bowl Sunday; beer and football go hand in hand, especially beer during the championship.

2) Throw a party on a Sunday. This is similar to reason number one for obvious reasons. If anyone comes to your room for noise level because they are doing homework (who does homework on a Sunday?), you have the right to tell him or her to shut up.

3) Not to do your homework. Your teachers might not agree with you, but I think its legitimate enough. If you use this as an excuse, you seriously have to watch the game, though, because you might be asked for evidence. Or you could just not go to class all together. Students have been arguing for years for the Monday after Super Bowl off.

4) Be obnoxiously competitive with your friends. If your friend is strongly rooting for one team, there is nothing better than rooting for the opposite team, just to piss them off. For instance… MJ, the 49ers will be losing.

5) Consume large amounts of meat, queso, chips and chocolate. Not that I don’t consume these things frequently anyways, but now when people tell me how unhealthy I eat, I can tell them to shut it. Also, most of this food is free if you get invited to the right party.

6) It gives you a reason to not fast forward over commercials. I think we can all agree that DVR was one of the greatest inventions of our time, because you don’t actually have to watch annoying commercials. However, on this one day out of the year advertisers happen to make entertaining commercials instead of ones that make you want to throw something at the TV.

If these six reasons don’t make you want to watch the Super Bowl, here are some additional ones.

1) Beyonce is performing with Destiny’s Child. This is the first time I’m actually excited for a halftime show in a long time. “Say my name,” “Soldier” and “Survivor.” Oh yeah, bringing back the “˜90s.

2) The Patriots aren’t playing. Seriously, it gets old having the same team in it. No one likes them or Brady.

3) This is Ray Lewis’ last game. He may be a bad guy (he was accused of murder) but he is an incredible football player and has had a great career.

4) It’s been a while for both teams: Ravens since 2001 and 49ers since 1995. They both care a lot about it and have something to prove.

I hope I’ve convinced you to watch it whether you are a football fan or not. The Super Bowl really is one of those events anyone can enjoy. So grab some beer, food and friends and enjoy what should turn out to a great game and a great time.