“Is that an icicle in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?”

“I’ve become frostsmitten with you.”

“My love for you will last forever… green.  Like the trees.”

“I wasn’t joking, I think an icicle fell in your pants.”

“If you were a DEER, I’d never try to REIN you in. Because I respect you as an individual person with your own hopes and dreams.  Do you want to go discuss our independent plans for the future?  Maybe read some Margaret Atwood?  I value your opinion.”

“I’ll give you a real reason to wear that ugly turtleneck.”

“Seriously, it’s weird that you haven’t taken the icicle out of your pants yet.  It’s starting to melt… aren’t you cold?”

“Also, I was so frostsmitten that my hand had to be amputated. Thanks.”

“And who wears turtlenecks anymore?”

“Do you want to see my snowballs?”

“Okay! Nevermind!”

“You and this weather have one thing in common.  You’re both frigid.”

“I’d like to hibermate with you.”

“Okay, I’ll admit that that crossed the line.”

” Where are are you going? I wanted to eggnsnog you!”

“Well, it looks like I’m going to have to jacket off this winter.”