A dialogue of winter-themed pick-up lines for your enjoyment

“Is that an icicle in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?”


“I’ve become frostsmitten with you.”


“My love for you will last forever… green.  Like the trees.”


“I wasn’t joking, I think an icicle fell in your pants.”


“If you were a DEER, I’d never try to REIN you in. Because I respect you as an individual person with your own hopes and dreams.  Do you want to go discuss our independent plans for the future?  Maybe read some Margaret Atwood?  I value your opinion.”


“I’ll give you a real reason to wear that ugly turtleneck.”


“Seriously, it’s weird that you haven’t taken the icicle out of your pants yet.  It’s starting to melt… aren’t you cold?”


“Also, I was so frostsmitten that my hand had to be amputated. Thanks.”


“And who wears turtlenecks anymore?”


“Do you want to see my snowballs?”


“Okay! Nevermind!”


“You and this weather have one thing in common.  You’re both frigid.”


“I’d like to hibermate with you.”


“Okay, I’ll admit that that crossed the line.”


” Where are are you going? I wanted to eggnsnog you!”


“Well, it looks like I’m going to have to jacket off this winter.”