Bring back the Sperm Squad, bring back controversy


Trinity isn’t known for its school spirit. It’s not known for having a warring student body rife with controversy, either. We all know both of these things make for a more entertaining college experience, and luckily, there’s an easy solution to this. It’s time we resurrect the Sperm and Ova.

The Sperm Squad and its Ova counterparts is a Trinity tradition that began in 1972, and was originally inspired by Woody Allen’s movie “Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex.” The spirit groups appeared together at the annual homecoming football game as the halftime entertainment.

The Sperm would dress in white, occasionally covering themselves in shaving cream. Led by the Wad Commander, Head Sperm and the Supreme Cream, they performed chants, dances and a fertility ritual with the Ova. The Ova, dressed in pink or white, were led by the Fallopian Tube Leaders and the Head Egg. While the Sperm ritually bowed to the Murchison Tower — phallic symbol, anybody? — the Ova bowed to the moon.

While such a halftime tradition might seem detrimental to a good ole family-friendly football game, it was a way for students to make friends and be involved in something low-stakes. Anyone could participate just by showing up to the designated meeting spot prior to the game to learn the chants and other rituals.

The best part, besides the chaos on the field itself, was the conversation the Sperm and Ova tradition sparked year after year. One columnist in an issue of the 1988 Trinitonian wrote that the halftime display made him embarrassed of Trinity, calling everyone who participated a bunch of geeks. More specifically, he wrote, “Please let this tradition die.”

The tradition did die a year later, though, when the administration bowed to students, parents and alumni who complained that the display was too obscene. Another columnist that year lamented the loss of traditions like the Sperm Squad and McMelvin (a moose head subjected to many campus rituals in the 1950s), arguing they not only bonded students but fostered a healthy spirit of rebellion.

Lately, on Trinity’s campus, there’s too much stress, depression and anxiety and not enough goofy school unity. Who knows? The Sperm Squad and the Ova could be renewed spirit groups that we once again rally around, perhaps not just at football games but even by tabling in Coates with free condoms to promote safe sex. And if the university still wants to expel students who participate as they did in ‘89 — well, if there’s enough of us dressed in white and covered in shaving cream, they can’t catch us all.

In order to reignite school spirit here at Trinity, we should begin where everything begins: with the Sperm.