Theta Theta Veta: Trinity’s newest fraternity goes live

The new Greek organization that promises fame, fortune, and plenty of content

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here

Greek life is once again expanding this semester, welcoming its newest co-ed fraternity with open arms. Theta Theta Veta (TTV) is founding its first chapter right here at Trinity thanks to the perseverance of students and faculty at TigerTV.

TigerTV is the on-campus television station, which produces three weekly daytime shows, Studio 21, the Not So Late Show, and Newswave — as well as one secret nighttime show, Newswave After Dark.

Havannah Halazar, executive producer of TigerTV’s Studio21 and social chair for TTV, explains the motivation behind forming another new, not-like-other-schools Greek organization.
“With everything we do together at TigerTV, we kind of already felt like siblings,” Halazar said. “I mean, I’ve spent the night at a haunted inn with some of these guys, choreographed dances with them convinced one of them to be possessed by a spirit for me — we even founded our own cinematic universe.”

TTV also strives to be different from other Greek organizations on campus, explains Ed Parenteux, TigerTV station manager and new president of TTV.

“Yeah, of course, we want to be different,” Parenteux said. “I mean, you look at other lame social frats like that one for music nerds and you can see where Greek life is really lacking. … I would say we want to be a beacon for other orgs, like leaders, but stricter. We don’t just want to set the standards, we want to set the rules.”

But becoming a part of this up-and-coming community is no easy feat, as potential new members (PNMs) must undergo a series of challenges in order to prove themselves worthy of the brotherhood.

“The challenges are all about skills and trust,” Halazar said. “It’s fairly simple, really. PNMs just have to write, film, edit, and show one full-length feature film within a 24-hour period, and stream the whole thing live.”

When asked about safety, insurance, and regulations, Parenteux directed questions to “Sally Slaze,” the supposed vice president of TTV. Slaze turned out to be, in reality, a mannequin with no arms or legs and declined to comment.

The fraternity also has big plans for their house, hoping to finally bring the Greek life community together by establishing a row of frat houses on Ledge Lane. Their house, however, will be more along the lines of a hype house, hoping to become a hub for influencers across campus.

“We figure we do live streams so often, we might as well start trying to make some money off of it,” Halazar said. “Right now we’re working on getting sponsored by Chartwells so that we can really make a name for ourselves online.”

While the Trinity chapter of TTV will be the first across the nation, they have high hopes of expansion and are already in discussion with other universities, according to Burt Savinas, TigerTV’s operations manager and faculty sponsor for TTV.

“Yeah, we’ve already reached out to LSU’s TigerTV about this opportunity, and they seem super pumped about the idea,” Savinas said. “They haven’t quite responded to any of our emails, letters, phone calls, telegrams, passenger pigeon messages, text messages, or DMs yet, but we can tell that they’re just as excited about it as we are.”

Parenteux is confident that they will have no problem setting up another chapter, and encourages students at Trinity to consider rushing, in the meantime.

“Obviously, I can’t force everyone to sign up. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try,” Parenteux said.
“This fraternity may very well be the best thing to ever happen to this campus,” Slaze said. “Joining this frat is a sure path towards fame and fortune — otherwise known as approximately 28 views on YouTube.”