This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here

Rejoice! The moment everyone has been waiting for is finally here! Two more white guys have started a podcast.
Shy Shy Lebeauf and Isaac Coleson have taken a groundbreaking approach to media: podcasting. Not only have they broken through a new communicative medium, but they are taking big risks on their topics of discussion. Blindsiding everyone in their lives, Lebeauf and Coleson chose to talk about sports.

Their voices take you right back to a moment where you wish your dad would just play some music. It genuinely sounds as if you have turned on a real sports broadcast. The duo clearly love sports more than anything. These are two guys who would give up sex over sports in a heartbeat.

The podcast actually began when Lebeauf and Coleson were having lunch, and Coleson accidentally recorded a casual conversation between them. Overcome with their love for sports, and each other, they made plans to make it official immediately…

The average American with a brain is concerned with the state of the world. In these trying times, it is important to give voices to those who need to be heard. Lifting up the oppressed will hopefully encourage the straight white men to be heard. The Roar Within highlights those voices. Thankfully, it seems as if the only thing that isn’t getting more expensive these days is podcasting equipment. Fellow male sports reporter, Tony Bone-Marrow, was thrilled to hear the news.

“This is what our school has been missing. I cannot wait to hear the nuanced perspectives Shy Shy and Isaac have to offer. I just know that Joe Rogan is smiling down on them,” The Tone-Bone said.

After the episode one recap of Trinity sports, the fans begged Lebeauf to stick to what he knows: soccer. There is no need to constantly remind listeners that baseball and softball use a ball and a bat. We know what they are. Shy Shy’s most recent proposed podcast “debate” stemmed from his core belief that women should not participate in sports.

“My goal with this podcast is to grow the game,” Lebeauf said. “I need the women to please stop competing. They’re making us look bad.”

Coleson’s dream of becoming a sports broadcaster has seeped into every crevice of his life. It is a well known fact that his voice has developed to enunciate all basic sentences as if he is commenting on a game.

“I can’t believe they pay me to do this shit,” Coleson said.

Lebeauf and Coleson are clearly two best friends who have bonded over their love of every imaginable aspect of sports. Good friends will talk about anything with you. The best of friends will come up with plans so you get paid to talk about anything.
Anyways, check out this week’s podcast of the Trinibonian’s very own, The Roar Within! Episode 4, featuring senior pitcher for Trinity baseball Luke Pfiefer, came out on March 27.