Skip to Main Content
The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

Drop the épées; It’s time to pick up a real weapon

Drop the épées; It’s time to pick up a real weapon

Fencing club resorts to real swords in anticipation of the draft
Anthony Romero, Sports Reporter March 25, 2026

If you’re going to a fencing club meeting in the coming weeks, don’t expect to pick up an épée, foil, or sabre anytime soon. The club recently announced that it will begin using actual swords in...

The Triniboners fight tooth and nail for funding

The Triniboners fight tooth and nail for funding

A ‘Basketball Game’ decides the fate of print journalism at Trinity
Maddy Morrow, Sports Reporter March 25, 2026

After a back-and-forth match, the Triniboners came up with a win 26-25. The match was organized after SGA Senators were sick of hearing the Boners pleas for more money, and in honor of March Madness, suggested...

Trinity appeals to shorten length of soccer games

Trinity appeals to shorten length of soccer games

Tigers controversially argue for shorter games, which would award them a retroactive title
Scott Lebo, Sports Reporter/Podcast Editor March 25, 2026

Trinity men’s soccer filed an official appeal to the NCAA Division III rules committee to shorten the length of soccer matches from 90 minutes to 89 minutes and 55 seconds. The change would retroactively...

Victor Wembanyama signs to Trinity University Men's Basketball team

Tigers make 7’4-sized splash in the portal

Trinity recruits Wembanyama to bolster NCAA tournament team
Cole Isaacson, Sports Editor March 25, 2026

Trinity men’s basketball sent shockwaves through the Division III world when they announced San Antonio Spurs star Victor Wembanyama is set to join the team for the upcoming season. Wembanyama played...

‘Buds and Brushes’: Pairing canvas work with cannabis

‘Buds and Brushes’: Pairing canvas work with cannabis

New course opening in fall 2026 filled in 5 minutes, revealing more about student demand than any syllabus could
Za-za Zerez, Farts Reporter March 24, 2026

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. A new course, ART 4200: ‘Buds and Brushes,’ is launching this fall, Trinity’s art department...

Nick and Judy console each other after Oscars loss

The Oscars snubbed ‘Zootopia 2’ across the board

Historians will one day ask: Where were you when ‘Zootopia 2’ was robbed?
Zoo Zutton, Farts Columnist March 23, 2026

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool's edition, the Trinibonian, here. Every year, the Academy Awards claims to present prestige to the most deserving films. But if that’s...

SAM SAMSON’S new housing is in the locker room.

Lockers by day, dorms by night

Res Life will open up Trinity’s football lockers for junior housing to accommodate rising juniors’ need for on-campus housing
Olivia Marie Hill, Reporter April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here On March 24, Trinity students received an email from Residential Life announcing that football locker...

Well, that transition was short-lived

Well, that transition was short-lived

Trinity to switch from Workday Student to Microsoft Excel for class registration
Bonica Bartinez, Reporter April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Since transitioning to Workday on March 15, students have broadly expressed their support for the...

LeeRoy, that sick, gets put in the slammer with his associates where he belongs, at least according to Texas.

LeeRoy commits a fur-paw

Former Trinity mascot in custody after being declared a “furry” by Texas government
Canne Sulled, Snoozer Loser April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here After governor Richard Abbey passed the FURRIES Act (HB6969) on April 1, LeeRoy was arrested by...

Trinibonian Events

Trinibonian Events

Hot Rod, Editor April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here STAFF PICK | LINKEDIN IS THE NEW TINDER Looking for a career-driven lover to wine and dine? The...

Donate to Trinitonian
$890
$1500
Contributed
Our Goal