When I look back at the last four years, I think about drinks at my friend’s house on East Mulberry Avenue, joking and playing card games. I think about late nights joking in the newsroom with people that I don’t just call my co-workers, but my friends. And even though the food is terrible, I think about begrudging Mabee Dining Hall trips with my friends in my first year. The pattern here is that none of these memories is the A that I got in a class, and none of them were made alone.
To get vulnerable for a second, as graduation quickly approaches, I have some regrets. I wish I had treated college a little differently and recognized the unique experience as the place where you mold the person you want to be, and create the memories you want to have of your young adulthood. More specifically, I think about all the plans I said no to because I wanted to study for a test I don’t even remember, or obsessively read an essay that probably could’ve been submitted hours ago — and I mourn the memories I could’ve made.
At the time, I felt guilty when I chose to hang out with friends or take some time for myself because I “should have been studying.” I tortured myself over grades and strived for an impossible standard of perfection that left me in tears more than once. That all-or-nothing pursuit took time away from my friends and my family, and given the chance to go back, I would’ve chosen differently. I would have chosen to prioritize my relationships, the creation of memories and the unique space that college is in terms of community.
Don’t get me wrong, I love what I study, and I have had some truly amazing experiences in the classroom. But when you let achievement take over everything else, you start missing the very experiences and people that make it all worth it. Your future matters, but so does your present. Life is happening right now — and the memories you are making will stay with you forever.
Because of that, if I could give any advice, it would be this: put yourself in spaces where connection and growth can happen. Thanks to the three-year residency requirement, you are forced into a situation where you’re in close proximity to others who are going through the same time in their lives, attending the same school and maybe interested in similar things as you. This is a type of connection and opportunity for friendship you will likely never have again, so use it to your advantage.
That is to say, say yes more often. Get out of your comfort zone. Join a club and actually show up. Make the trade-off of a few hours studying to spend time with your friends. Go on that date. Go to that party. Go out and explore the city. Do something stupid (within reason). Take everything and anything that the universe gives you and hold onto it.
Obviously, I am not telling you to do something reckless; have discernment and be responsible. But most things are not life-ending — and they might be life-changing. You might meet a new friend, have a new experience or learn something new about yourself. And really, that is what college, and life, are all about.
Going forward, I have no clue where I will go post graduation. Four years ago, the prospect of not having a plan would have sent me into shock, but today it makes me excited. I now have the privilege of creating the life that I want, and I know that the lessons I have learned at Trinity — inside of the classroom, but more importantly, the ones I learned outside of it — will guide me to where I am meant to be. As my mom once said, “life has a funny way of working out,” and I can’t wait to see how my story unfolds.
