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The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

Trap and skeet brings out the big guns... Big hard guns... Rock hard guns.

Trap & Skeet Shooting launches controversial missile program

They plan to hit more targets, but at what cost?
Isaac Coleson, Reporter April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here This past Tuesday, March 31, Trinity announced a new missile program for trap and skeet shooting....

Trinity admin launches betting app TigerDual

Trinity admin launches betting app TigerDual

Two-Timing Tony Bone-Marrow, Reporter April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here At the beginning of the 2025-26 academic year, Trinity will launch a new app, TigerDual. Next year,...

Bad AO3 cover parody

The class I was sold to one direction

New fanfiction class offered by English department for the fall semester
A tired fanfic writer from 2012, Reporter April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Trinity’s newest English class is turning heads as students start to plan their schedules for...

Student resuscitated after a deadly snack

Student resuscitated after a deadly snack

Campus gang wars ensue after TPD is accused of brutality
Boshua Bitra, News Reporter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. Stephanie White, sophomore business major, decided to attend Toilet Paper Department’s (TPD) April 2nd Copcorn...

SGA is now Swashbuckler Government Association

SGA is now Swashbuckler Government Association

After a year of my leadership, I’ve taken the Swashbucklers campus-wide
Captain Cailyn Austin, Source April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. Last year, I wrote a piece on my initiative to bring positive change to the Swashbucklers through my benevolent...

#EXPOSED: Fizz’s new update to reveal anonymity

#EXPOSED: Fizz’s new update to reveal anonymity

The top-secret app where students mock students just became less top-secret
BDEVE, Farts Editor April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. Starting April 5, all creator posts on Fizz will become non-anonymous, revealing every user and their online comments....

Hey, watch out! Scooters are on the rise at Trinity

Hey, watch out! Scooters are on the rise at Trinity

The incoming scooter-only lanes may impede travel through upper campus
Al K. Seltzer, False Reporter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. After receiving many complaints about students on electric scooters hitting passersby on the sidewalks, Trinity...

Robot Takeover: AI runs writing center

Robot Takeover: AI runs writing center

Due to budget constraints, writing tutors are now AI
Bonica Bartinez, Snooze Reporter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. When essays are due, professors often urge students to consult the Writing Center. Starting next semester, this...

Course registration changes to series of student battles

Course registration changes to series of student battles

Students hope the new system will signal a change in academic advising
Bierra Boode, Snooze Reporter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. Following complaints about the chaos and randomly selected times for course registration, Trinity has changed...

Tiger's Den (1)

Operation Blackout: Trinity’s response to drinking on campus

Optimal Buzz reincarnated, seeking to promote healthy habits for students
Boshua Bitra, Snooze Reporter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. Operation Blackout debuted last Friday to rave reviews, providing promising feedback for the initiative backed...

Renting sex toys: Safety hazard or sexual necessity?

Renting sex toys: Safety hazard or sexual necessity?

Wellness Services now rents out sex toys as part of their condom project
Barper Born-Blegg, Snooze Reporter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. After the success of the Condom Project by Health and Wellness Services in partnership with the San Antonio AIDS...

New master plan aims to make Trinity really stand out

New master plan aims to make Trinity really stand out

University pinky promises construction won’t take that long
Tara Hunter-Gatherer, Predator-in-Beef April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. With the increasingly large number of undergrad applicants and Trinity’s recent classification as a national...