This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here

We’ve all had that ex who just doesn’t know when to quit. Our friends say they’re ‘toxic’ and our parents worry about the relationship growing dangerous. When we finally break it off, they keep pushing, trying to stay connected to us and destroying what remains of our goodwill. Even so, sometimes we wonder whether breaking it off was really the right choice.
What if, instead of wallowing in grief or moving on just to have another disaster relationship, you gave them another chance? Whatever the reason for your breakup, they were just doing what they thought was best for you. They love you, and surely you love them back. Plus, if you cut them off for good, they might get hurt. You should try again. Give your toxic ex a second chance.

If your ex continually fought with you over small things that didn’t matter, maybe consider their point of view. Those things clearly mattered to them, otherwise they wouldn’t have brought them up. In any argument there are always opposing sides. Just because someone takes a side you disagree with doesn’t make them a bad person.

Consider an ex who always insults your appearance. Do they only care about your looks, or do they want you to look your best? In ambiguous situations, good morality assumes the best since other people’s intentions remain unknown. Applying that to your ex means giving them the benefit of the doubt. Of course they didn’t mean to hurt you. They were trying to help and just made some mistakes along the way. Forgive and forget. Why give up a good thing over a petty fight?

When thinking about getting back with an ex, it often helps to think about why you got into the relationship in the first place. Surely you must love them or at the least want some kind of relationship with them. Why would you have gotten into a relationship with them unless you cared about them? Surely they feel the same way, otherwise they wouldn’t want you back.
Just because sometimes being with a person makes you feel bad doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with that person. Try reframing your mindset. Focus on the times when things were good. Wait desperately for those times, and your waiting will make them all the sweeter. If something you are doing brought out a behavior in your ex which hurt you, consider changing yourself to accommodate. Be the bigger person and apologize for selfishly leaving them. Prove that you love them by taking them back.

If you still want to cut them off, consider how they feel. Cutting your ex off may hurt them quite badly. As much as they may insist it’s not your fault, it definitely is. You made the choice. You should apologize and take them back. Give them as much of your time and attention as they need to feel better. It’s worth it for a lasting relationship built on loyalty and sacrifice.
Above all else, avoid absolute cutoffs. Your ex might threaten extreme action or take drastic countermeasures in response, ruining your life or causing you to feel guilty for what you’ve done. The only person to blame is yourself. You chose to cut them off knowing they might be unstable or try to take you down with them. Luckily, most of the time such tactics can be reversed. If they try something like this, take them back as soon as possible so as to minimize the damage. Even if you’re not entirely happy, as long as they’re okay, it doesn’t matter.

People may balk at your decision to take back your ex. “How can you date them?” they may say. “After what they did?” they’ll shout. But you know better. Just because everyone in your life acts concerned about you doesn’t mean they really care. Maybe they just want more attention from you, or maybe they hold a secret grudge against your partner. Regardless, they just want to ruin the good things you have. Don’t let them. Give your ‘toxic’ ex another chance.