“The Cabin in the Woods” review

The Cabin in the Woods review
“The Cabin in the Woods” opened in theaters on April 13. Photo courtesy of Lionsgate.

If you’ve never seen or heard anything about this movie, stay away from any reviews or spoilers! Avoid the trailer as well!  I won’t spoil anything in my review, but if you love horror movies or hate them ““ go watch “The Cabin in the Woods”! Drop the newspaper, get off the toilet and run to the Quarry Theater right now!

Joss Whedon (AVENGERS IS ALMOST OUT) and Drew Goddard’s long-delayed film, “The Cabin in the Woods,” finally came out last Friday. This film, starring pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth, has been finished for more than two years but encountered problems due to MGM filing for bankruptcy. Oh, what a shame that would have been if this movie never saw the light of day! Thankfully, the old gods’ thirst for blood was satiated, and the film is playing on the big screen, so we can satisfy our thirst for seeing the young and beautiful murdered violently.

I loved this movie. Every sentence in the first paragraph ends with an exclamation point. I want you to re-read the first paragraph again, but this time imagine me sitting uncomfortably close to you, screaming directly in your ears. Talking about the movie is a slippery slope of telling you what exactly about the movie works while not divulging the man behind the curtain. Though there is a big question throughout that’s resolved by the end of the movie, the amazingness doesn’t depend on the payoff. I could have known the “big secret” beforehand, and the movie would be just as great. Knowing as little as possible about “The Cabin in the Woods” will make your first (of many, if you’re anything like me) viewing far more fun and weird though it really doesn’t matter. The execution of the plot, the characters and the pointed look at the current state of horror films elevates it above the plot twist. The third act of this movie nullifies any gripes I may have (which are very few and far in between). The dialogue is smart and witty, and the plot doesn’t allow you to walk into the theaters and just turn your brain off.

This isn’t your typical horror/slasher film. For one thing, you will cringe with the tension and atmosphere in one second then literally laugh out loud the very next. I cannot stress just how weird this movie is, and I mean that in the best possible way. Eight minutes after a certain point in the end, the lights in the theater turned on and I just started laughing. I wasn’t sure what I had just watched. It felt like the producers were playing a practical joke on me, the viewer. But I was okay with that. In fact, I loved it.

Why are you still reading? You will hate this movie. You will love this movie. It doesn’t matter how you feel after, but you will feel something strong towards this movie, so go see the wonder hidden inside “The Cabin in the Woods” for yourself.

Score: 9.5/10