The most wonderful time of the year: a brief recount of the fabulous things that Halloween has to offer

It’s about to be my favorite time of year again, gals and ghouls. It’s that time of year when girls dress like slutty kittens or Crayola© crayons, where guys dress up like sport fanatics for their favorite team (i.e. Cardinals) and where black and orange can be worn without judgment. Yes, dear readers, I am talking about the magnificent celebration of Halloween. I relish this fall occasion where I can dress up in politically, socially and fashionably inappropriate ways, and thereby impress all my friends with my knowledge of tongue-in-cheek humor. I adore the copious amounts of parties that provide me with endless amusement and refreshing beverages. And I also love the hundreds of pounds of Halloween candy that line the aisles of HEB, beckoning for me to buy them, just in case trick-or-treater’s stop by my apartment or residence hall (which almost never happens). In short, I love Halloween because it brings out the mischievous and marvelous side of everyone.

That being said, I would like to take the time to tell you of the specific wondrous things that Halloween brings to the academic kingdom of Trinitonia. The best thing I can think of is most certainly Calvert Ghosts. This momentous event allows for young freshmen, usually from the Calvert dorms (and anyone else who wants to join in the hullabaloo) to coat themselves in flour whilst naked and run across campus, causing general distraction, mayhem and glee. What a fabulous opportunity to get to know your fellow members of Trinity on a more “personal” level.

Also, this year, Halloween falls on a Wednesday, which allows you to bombard your professors with whines and pleas to excuse you from class or to give out free candy and extra credit (Professor Brown — I’m talking to you!). Also, due to its weekday appearance, this Halloween brings the grand possibility of dressing up for class in a costume of your choice, in the hopes that a group of visiting high school seniors will stop by to see you make your debut in class as Mitt Romney or Whitney Houston (RIP).

Finally,  Halloween in Trinitonia brings the hope of having the best time ever at the various parties and soirees that will be happening. You’ll obviously need at least five different costumes in order to make a striking impression upon every boy or girl you encounter (who unfortunately will probably not remember you) and will need to update your emergency contacts in your phone in honor of the autumnal occasion. Take notes from my previous rants and remember not to be dumb. Don’t drink and drive, try to wear at least some clothes to parties and remember that Halloween, unlike Leap Day, is actually a real day and will have consequences.

In closing, I would like to respectfully remind you, my fiendish readers, of the Halloween origins of yester-year. The feast of “All Hallows’ Eve” comes before the Western Christian holiday of All Saints’ Day and also maintains traditions dating back to the ancient Celtic fall tradition of Samhain which marked a change in seasons. Knowing that half of you have probably drifted off at this sentence, I will cut my history lesson short and simply say that Halloween is a deep-rooted and massive tradition and therefore deserves to be celebrated in the best of fashions. Thus, gather your scariest or scandalous costume, line up to see the next “Paranormal Activity,” get ready to bob for apples or brewskis (if you’re of age, of course) and partake in tomfoolery wherever you go. Can’t wait to see what you all bring to Trinitonia in the next few weeks. I can feel in the October air that “something wicked this way comes.” Please — don’t let me down.

Gabrielle Shayeb is a senior majoring in history.