This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here

Trinity has offered counseling services as a free resource to students for decades. However, next semester, counseling services on campus will be replaced with the online therapy service: BetterHelp.

Alongside a document that detailed DEI-related budget cuts at the university, a statement was issued to all students on campus via their trinity.edu email early last week. The email said that counseling services will not be available this upcoming academic year.

Trinity’s automated Policy Assistant sent out the email, and it was left unsigned by any university faculty member. The alternative to both in-person and online care was described as follows: “Trinity has updated the Counseling Services Policy following university budget cuts. The new policy limits counseling services to the BetterHelp website only. This policy permits students a 10% discount on their first month of counseling. These updates take effect immediately.”

Prior to the change, students had the opportunity to either visit a counselor in person or access a group of trained counselors online. This online service, TigerCare Live, was also financially supported by the university, and counselors were available 24/7. On its website, the university stated that these online services and their flexibility helped students to receive counseling whenever necessary.

Lexi Pro, senior chemistry, physics and math triple-major, said they have used counseling services at Trinity since they were a first-year. According to them, this new policy is an outrage.

“I can’t believe the university would allow this. I mean, I know I struggle with mental health problems, and so do my fellow physics-math-chemistry major friends,” Pro said. “How is a random person online meant to understand my struggles? For all I know, the BetterHelp agents are AI chatbots.”

Pro said that lately, there has been a rumor circulating that Trinity sells student’s information to BetterHelp because Trinity students are required to use their trinity.edu email to sign up for the service. According to them, Trinity student’s information will cycle through BetterHelp’s data system and be returned to the university, along with all text messages sent to and from BetterHelp’s therapists. The university will then use this information to determine whether or not students are mentally capable of receiving further education.

“It’s beyond a conspiracy theory at this point,” Pro said.

Addie Rall, sophomore computer science major, said she is excited for the new policy change. Although the university’s email was abrasive, she appreciated the new opportunity to access therapy services.

“I’m on my computer all the time anyway. It’s nice to know that I don’t have to talk face-to-face with somebody to get help,” Rall said. “I already have to talk to people so much. Texting my therapist means one less thing to stress me out.”

Trinity has expressed through both their email and posts to their website that this change to counseling services will create funding which the university can use to quicken the construction on Shook Avenue. According to the administration, the construction is still ongoing for the foreseeable future. With the internet connection more stable, Rall said, she can access both online therapy and Genshin Impact at the same time.

“It’s revolutionizing therapy,” Rall said. “Where else can I play a rigged gacha system and then immediately get my Prozac refilled? It’s awesome.”

According to Lichard Leems, Counseling Services senior mental health counselor, the building that Counseling Services currently resides in will transition to an extension of the new Welcome Center being constructed near Dicke Hall. Leems said the building will be exclusively for incoming freshmen, and it will be officially named the ‘Coates Fishbowl’

“It’s an appropriate name, I believe. Admin says they will drag out the old 2015 Dell monitors, so the students can access their BetterHelp therapy in public,” Leems said. “Plus, you can swipe your TigerCard to pay for each session, and I’ve heard that they plan to implement Klarna as a payment alternative.”