This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here

Because Trinity is a small, residential school, many students rely on Mabee Dining Hall for reliable nutrition. After dining services held student-led focus groups, the university decided to open a brand- new dining hall.

Following the transition from Aramark to Chartwells, Mabee Dining Hall went through a series of changes, some of them being cosmetic. Mike Ochis, junior bizness major and member of the Kappa Kappa Fart fraternity, said that he often eats at the dining hall during Greek Life orientation in January.

“I’m a trustworthy source for all things Mabee,” Ochis said. “I’ve been there through the highs, the lows, the lower lows, everything. Sometimes, you think it can’t get any lower, and boom, you’re in Northrup 040.”

Ochis said that he was also part of one of the focus groups that Chartwells hosted last semester. According to him, the focus groups had a lot of productive things to say, and that it was a little overwhelming to imagine Mabee changing so drastically.
“Their decision to open a new place to handle all the new stuff is smart, in my opinion. The new dining hall can handle most of the changes that Trinity students want, and Mabee can still be Mabee. You know, nostalgia is a pretty great tool to get people to come back. Maybe that’s what they’re going for,” Ochis said.

Sage Mahouse, first-year studio art major, said that they don’t really understand the concept of opening a new dining hall. According to them, getting food on campus is super easy, especially because they live in Harold D. Herndon Residence Hall.
“I mean, I know I just got here, but Mabee can’t be that bad, right?” Mahouse said. “I go there every once in a while with my friends. People say that it gets worse. Does it really get worse?”

In a social media post, Trinity Dining released the name of the new building: Perhaps Dining Hall. Reginald “Reggie” Perhaps, a well-established Trinity alum, said in an email that he was thrilled by the honor of having a university establishment named after his family.

“I loved my time at Trinity, and I loved eating there more than anything,” Perhaps said. “Seeing Trinity students getting more access to quality food means so much to me.”

Perhaps Dining Hall will be built right next to Mabee for the convenience of students. According to the Trinity University Master Plan, the parking lots near Mabee Dining Hall will be inaccessible through the end of the semester, and construction on Perhaps will continue through January 2030. Until then, students will have to walk past the Bell Center and along the sidewalk of the Intramural Field in order to reach Mabee.

“Well, at least I can get my steps in,” Ochis said. “Maybe it’s not all that bad.”