I know everything I want to say in my last and final editorial; you’ll see it next week. I have so many goodbyes and last calls to make. So many torches to pass on, and I feel as though everything I want to say in this editorial should really be published in our last issue on May 1.

So, I’m going back to basics — before I truly understood what an editorial was meant to do. As managing editor, I was oblivious to their purpose. I took the opportunity to write what was on my mind in my editorials. I wrote about imposter syndrome and actively looking for love.

Now, I want to have one last self-indulgent hurrah. Recently, I’ve been exceedingly worried about many things. As editor-in-chief, I’ve been worried about doing my job well and making the most of my last two weeks of student journalism. As a student, I’ve been worried about my thesis and my finals. I’m worried about my future — moving to a new city and applying for jobs. I’m worried about how all of these issues intertwine, and how I can make them all happen without driving myself insane.

That last part is impossible, and I’ve been reluctant to admit it. My therapist talks a whole lot about the “wise mind” — the space between your “emotional mind” and “rational mind.” Leaning heavy toward one side, even toward the rational mind, hinders people. She says I have to find my way to the wise mind. 

I have to balance what I want with what I think is best for me (i.e. Do I chase after an impossible story and make my life horrible for my last two weeks of college? Or do I give up completely and enjoy the little time I have left?). It’s balancing external responsibilities with your internal wants and needs.

It’s a long-winded way to say that you need to compromise, even with yourself. I’ve been having to do that a lot recently. There’s so much work that I want — and need — to put  toward my career, but I also want to spend my time finishing out my basic responsibilities and hanging out with friends. I have to find that middle ground. 

I know everyone else is feeling similarly. It’s your last chance to bring your grade up in that class. Your last chance to show your boss what you’re capable of. And it’s also your last chance to enjoy your time here — at least before a three-month break or before you leave.

You’ll have to choose what you have to do, and the whole “last sprint” or “who cares, give up” attitude will miss the mark. Sure, it’s the “rational mind” thing to do to make yourself suffer for grades or achievements these last couple of weeks. It’s also the “emotional mind” thing to do to want to give up and lounge with friends.

Though I know my experiences about reporting and job searching are specific to me, the decision between rationality and emotion is pervasive in every students’ life right now. I’ve been constantly hearing “It’s the last two weeks; finish out strong” from some and told “It’s your last two weeks; who cares” from others. I know you’ve been hearing the same, and I’m telling you those are not your only two options. 

They cannot be your only two options. You cannot give everything you have to a 30-page paper due in a week. You also can’t turn in slop. You have to find your “wise mind.” You have to find the compromise between the rational and the emotional.

I’m saying all this to prevent you from pulling all-nighters for multiple weeks straight in the coming weeks. That won’t be worth it. I don’t care if it may benefit you in the future, pushing your friends, your hunger or your sleep deprivation aside isn’t the answer. It’s not worth it.

I’ve thought a lot about my wise mind — and that means different things for different situations. I’ve found my compromise for the Trinitonian and post-graduate plans. I encourage you to do the same. Consider what’s fair for your rational brain and your emotional brain. Compromise with yourself. Set boundaries. Find your wise mind.