Trinitonian

Senior Column: 3 years of extras

Logan Crews, Editor-in-Chief • April 27, 2023

I said goodbye to Trinity three years ago. Within two days of the news that COVID was not only interrupting our spring break but shutting down our university for the rest of the semester, I had driven...

Dying, dying, dead: Is the MCU still alive?

Trinity students’ take on the state of the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Parker Parent, Arts & Entertainment Reporter • April 6, 2023

The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) is a series of films that began with the release of “Iron Man” in 2008 and has continued with 30 subsequent entries in the franchise. However, as the universe enters...

Proposition A: Your vote matters more than you think

Trinity students discuss Proposition A and the importance of voting in local elections

Samara Gerstle, News Reporter • April 6, 2023

Municipal elections will be held in every county in Texas on May 6. Within the San Antonio city limits, citizens will be voting for mayor and their district’s seat on city council on the same ballot....

The RA hall of fame

Hear some of the heroic acts of your friendly neighborhood resident assistants

Bomar Batrut, Pulse Reporter • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. Resident assistants (RAs) core responsibility is the management of residential spaces. RAs are typically...

Jackpot! Daniel Martinez becomes Trinity’s first octuple-major student

Batherine Barr, Pulse Editor • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. Daniel Martinez, sophomore accounting, ancient Mediterranean studies, anthropology, applied chemistry,...

The campus bookstore NEEDS to sell LeeRoy body pillows

It’s absurd that these furry snoozing companions don’t already exist

Biya Bontractor, Copy Editor • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. The campus bookstore should consider a release of a brand-new and sought-after commodity: body pillows,...

Meet Trinity’s newest org, the Possum Alliance

Members of the newly formed club aim to get possums the same respect as the Trinicats

Bonica Bartinez, News Reporter • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here https://trinitonian.com/category/special-sections/ One night, freshman sociology major Adam Marsupialski...

Rats return to campus with a vengeance

This time, the rodents set their eyes on more than just Bruce Thomas Residence Hall

Barah Bisher, News Editor • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. In 2022, the rats came for Bruce Thomas Residence Hall. A year later, they came back for the rest...

Previously, on SGA: Ballot brawl breaks out

The following covers the meeting on April 1.

Balejandra Berlach, Managing Editor • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. Zero students were in attendance. Climate Check: President Daniel Newton began...

Trinity says goodbye to the Southern Collegiate Athletic Conference

The athletic department sacks SCAC

Bicholas Bhen, Sports Reporter • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here https://trinitonian.com/category/special-sections/ The SCAC, better known as the Southern Collegiate...

There’s a new Swashbuckler on campus

Avast ye! I am making big changes after my ascent to Swashbuckler captaincy

Bolin Bouston, Opinion Colunist • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. When I was named a captain of Swashbucklers for the upcoming school year last week, I knew it...

Meet Queenie, nacho average mascot

LeeRoy’s drag fursona reintroduces herself to campus, spices up Trinity tradition

Babby Backson, Arts & Entertainment Reporter • March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. We all know LeeRoy as Trinity’s friendly neighborhood tiger-man, who says a tiger can’t change...