Single and ready to pringle

Today is Valentine’s Day, and many of us are caught spending it single and alone, to which I have one thing to say: hahaha losers!  Looks like you’re missing out on all the fun again this year!  Must be terrible.  Wait, what?  What do you mean that I’M single too?  Well fine, then.  I guess we’re all losers.

But honestly, if you find yourself alone today, don’t despair, there are tons of us who are also alone, so it’s kind of like we’re alone together, which means that together we can all ascend from being mere flesh-bodies to become one with the hive mind as a huge conglomeration of thoughts and fluid.  Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about””this happens every Valentine’s Day, you just can’t seem to remember it because when the body is in a liquid state, memories aren’t recorded nearly as well, so everything just seems kind of hazy.  See?  There’s nothing to worry about.  How do I know about this?  Well, you see, I have sources.

I think the real problem is that society plays up romantic love as something big and important, kind of the end-all, be-all form of love.  It manifests itself in movies, books, in the way some of our families pressure us to find mates and a whole slew of other things.  But as we know, love has more forms than wanting to spend time with and possibly bone someone else.  It’s just my opinion, but I really don’t see romantic love as something so important as to eclipse all the rest.  There’s self-love, platonic love and the love a parent gives to their child, you know.

That being said, if you are single today, then try to think about the other people in your life who actually do love you.  For most of you, there are many people in your life who you care about, but don’t really “˜love’ in the sense that you want to date them.  You have family, friends, pets or even fictional characters (well maybe you DO want to date those, I don’t judge).  Even if the only person you can think of is yourself, that’s still someone, so go buy yourself some flowers and a box of chocolates.

Maybe it’s just me, but I find platonic love to be a lot more important.   Having friends that I love and care about has certainly made me a lot happier than any of my relationships have, even though that doesn’t really say much, considering my bad choices.  I think in order to truly show how much happier my friends have made me, I’d have to put it on some sort of exponential scale.  This is so cheesy.  To Laurel and Nina, who go to different schools: I really love you.  Happy Valentine’s.

Lauren Schroeter is a junior religion and geology major.