Home Sweet Shithole

Senior year has been full of many joys. The best of which was, hands down, the experience of living in the luxurious BROthel.

An abode that lives up to its extravagant reputation, the BROthel is equipped with 10 guys (12 if you include the backhouse), six bedrooms, five baths, an attic and one patio that is conveniently suitable as an extra sauna/icebox/bedroom, depending on the season.

It’s about as hard to describe the delight of living in this charming home as it is to find a clean fork in the kitchen, but I will try.

The well-kept living space is cleverly decorated by discarded beer cans, bottle caps and an array of lost shoes (how do you lose a shoe?). The house feels so inviting that the fluffy neighborhood vagabonds that roam our street often visit us. You know you are living clean when stray dogs have come to observe the inside of your home on multiple occasions.

The quaint decoration is exceeded only by the unique ambiance created by Saadi’s FIFA endeavors. His periodic exclamations like “FUN!” “I got Juiced!” and “C U Next Time!” remind you that you are never far from a loving friend.

There are countless other reasons the house has a special space in my heart. The water leaking from the ceiling of our kitchen cools me down as a slave over the hot stove, the sticky layer of muck on the floor reminds me when I forget to wear shoes, and whenever I feel like doing some casual manual labor, there are always someone else’s dishes to be done!

As the year comes to an end, I am faced with the inevitability that I will have to move into a different home. Although I look forward to the next house I inhabit, I will always call the BROthel my home sweet shithole.

Darren McAfee is graduating with a Bachelor of Science in engineering science with a minor in math and physics.