MLB Drinking games

The 2012 Major League Baseball season kicked off last week after an eventful offseason. Pujols to the Angles, Prince Fielder to Detroit and the introduction of another playoff wild-card team are just a few of the headlines. Thus, as the season continues, it is time to combine the nation’s pastime with something near and dear to my heart: drinking games!

So without further ado, let me be your guide to a good time (or alcoholism, whichever you prefer).

The Guillen: To say the Marlins manager is outspoken is an understatement. Already he has been suspended for the pro-Fidel Castro comments he made. Therefore, every time Ozzie shoots his yapper or makes headlines take a shot.

Panic Time: Announcers like to talk about it being panic time when a team struggles. Every time one does so, take a shot. Every time they mention the words “panic” and “Boston” or “Red Sox” in a sentence, take two shots.

The Ryan: Every time Nolan Ryan is shown in the stands at a Rangers game, take a drink. Every time he is mentioned at least once in an inning, take a drink.

Pittsburgh Pits: The Pirates are currently in the midst of a record 19 consecutive seasons with a losing record. Every day they spend above .500, take a drink.

Crashing Cubs: Every time someone mentions their World Series drought, take a shot. At the end of the season, if they have not won, take a shot for each decade they failed to win it.

Filling the Gap: Every time it is mentioned in a Brewers or  Cardinals game that the respective team is trying to fill the gap of Prince Fielder and Albert Pujols respectively, or their absence is mentioned in the slightest, take a shot.

The Braun: Apparently something happened with him this offseason. Every time his offseason steroids hearing is mentioned, you guessed it, take a shot. In fact, every time the word steroids is mentioned in general, take a shot.

Ascending Astros: It could be a rough year, though they are off to a good start. For every series they win, take a shot. If they are ever in first place of the NL central, open a new beer and down it.