Senior column: You have to fail

Photo credit: Julia Palmer

Photo credit: Julia Palmer

photo provided by Julia Palmer

Hello! It’s me, Julia Palmer, and this is my senior column. I am well aware that no one really cares about what I have to say, but it is my god-given right as a loud mouth to make sure everyone pays attention to me.

I came to Trinity as a depressed transfer who loved to smoke cigarettes on her Prassel balcony, and now I’m leaving as an anxious senior who cries on her City Vista balcony when the sunset is pretty. As I leave this institution of higher learning, I would like to impart some final words of advice to the Trinity student body and have y’all remember me as I was — super cool.

First things first, it is imperative to remember that your Trinity experience is temporary. Just like acne or that reoccurring dream where your high school boyfriend is trying to kill you, this, too, shall pass. Similarly, remember that the things that happen in this bubble are not indicative of who you will become. You are able and ALLOWED to change and grow. Take me, for example: I was a bitch my first year here and now? I’m less of a bitch! But I sometimes can’t shake the feeling that I will always be remembered as being a bitch. In those times when I feel like my legacy will be a bitch legacy (am I allowed to say bitch this much? Screw it, bitch) I remember that even if that’s what people thought of me for a year, it doesn’t mean it’s what I think of myself. I am Julia 3.0, and you can be your 3.0.

Remember to ally yourself with people you trust. This school is essentially a high school with harder classes and more alcohol — or less, depending on if you went to high school in El Paso. You may find yourself giving your time and effort to people who will take advantage of it. I have had friendships here that have made me bitter, but I remember that there is loyalty and kindness to be had from others.

Find the people who you can call at two a.m. when it feels like your world has finally ended, who will drive you to their home, massage baby bedtime lotion on your hand and who give you a reason to keep on living. Find those people who will take you home to Tennessee for spring break when the whole state of Texas feels like it is trying to choke the life out of you. Find those who will drive you aimlessly around Olmos Park because sometimes you just need that. Find them, treasure them and remind them that they are important.

Also! This next bit is pretty much about Greek Life (what’s up AX, we good): don’t be so precious with your organizations. Clubs are just that: clubs. They are not something to get into fights over or things that are so important that you cannot acknowledge the negative effect they have on people. It can seem enticing at times to fall into a club because it’s like a small family, but you will lose your mind if you don’t branch out. I joined Greek Life in what I like to call the ‘subvert expectation’ phase of my life. I enjoyed being in a club, but I also enjoy burning shit and stealing, so maybe retaining a little caution in trusting yourself is important.

The most important thing I want to push is that I hope you don’t feel like you wasted your time here. Say you spend two years in a toxic friendship or you flunk out of classes and have to switch your major or you go through a difficult breakup — all of those events aren’t wastes. Think of them as stepping stones to the person you’re going to become. You have to experience failure and pain to accept the good things. That may sound cheesy, but wouldn’t the world be a better place if we just accepted a little cheese?

Finally (and I cannot stress this enough), go to the library. Go to the library whenever you can. Talk with the staff. Watch the clouds roll across the sky as you work on the 4th floor. Go to Special Collections. The Trinity library is one of the most underutilized resources on this campus. Working/being there has changed my life and maybe it can change yours.

Also, this is mainly an advertisement to say PHONATHON DO NOT CALL ME EVER! I WILL GIVE YOU NOTHING! DO YOU HEAR ME! N O T H I N G

Also, people here are racist.


Follow me on twitter @juliapalmtree