What piercing you should get, according to myths your Latinx parents told you


Photo credit: Ren Rader

Illustration by Ren Rader

Growing up in a Latinx household can often mean believing myths that shape our perception of autonomy. These perceptions follow us into adulthood and, sometimes, are even passed onto the next generation as fact. Here’s what piercing you should get depending on what myths your Latinx parents told you!

“You can’t use tampons until you’re married, or you’ll lose your virginity to it.”

Ah, yes, sex education at its finest. It’s not uncommon for older Latinx people to have never used a tampon before for the sole reason that our mothers equate it to the loss of virginity. As ridiculous as it sounds, lack of sex education in our communities has allowed this myth to be passed down for generations. It only makes sense that after being taught such a heinous myth, we’d go after a piercing that would make us feel more in control of our body: nipple piercings. Do this at your own risk, however. If your mom finds out that you pierced your tetas, she’ll start rambling about how you screwed up your chance to have children. You’ll just have to sit there and say, “You’re right, Mom. Now my breast milk WILL squirt in all directions.”

“If you walk barefoot on the floor, you will get sick.”

To walk barefoot is to not value your parent’s money and, therefore, to insult their hard work. “No tenemos el dinero para ir al doctor,” they’d say until you put on socks. There’s no memory more uncomfortable than falling asleep with socks on in a room that didn’t have proper air conditioning. If you still wear socks to avoid getting sick from the floor, then a cute little second lobe piercing seems right for you. It’s safe, pretty, and just like those socks, it’ll prevent you from dealing with the complications of a major infection.

“Ya llevantate. It’s already 8 a.m.”

We all know this situation: it’s 7:22 a.m., and your parents come barging into your room because you’re “late.” Sleeping is for the rich, they tell you. In this life of hardship, you have to wake up early and start working before sunrise. They don’t care if you’re 17 and tired because when they were 17, they were working in the fields. My recommendation? Get a septum piercing. After hearing your parents say that they’re disappointed in you for getting a nose piercing (they’ll presume you mean a stud), you’ll show up for the holidays ready to disappoint further! “Hay viene Miss Bull,” your tío will say loudly. Can your parents really be mad? Technically, it’s 8 a.m. Technically, it’s a nose piercing. It’s all the same anyway.

“If you dream of your teeth falling off, you will die.”

If there’s one thing I love about Latinx parents, it’s how open they are about everything.Sorry, mija, your cat just got ran over and died a slow, painful death,” and “Are you dumb? There’s no Santa Claus — only devil-worshippers believe in him,” are staples of my childhood. Similarly, nothing was better to hear before going to bed than, “Try not to dream about your teeth falling off, or you’ll die!” There I was, a child trying not to think about teeth before I fell asleep, attempting to avoid my own death. If overthinking superstitions and myths defined your childhood, then I’d recommend getting an eyebrow piercing. No, really. Stop overthinking everything to the point where it leaves you afraid to take risks. If you’re easily scared, I don’t recommend starting off slow — all that will do is prolong your fear. So go ahead, book an appointment and get that eyebrow piercing!