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The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

The Student News Site of Trinity University

Trinitonian

Jerheme Urban to return to the field after 25-year absence

Jerheme Urban to return to the field after 25-year absence

Taking advantage of COVID year, Urban returns for Mega-Senior season
Overhyped Tiger Fan, Shorts Peddler April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. With spring football practices rolling around, a familiar face has been spotted in a new position. Trinity football...

Shohei Oh-Gambler: Involvement with the mob?

Shohei Oh-Gambler: Involvement with the mob?

Shohei Ohtani’s recent gambling allegations have fans questioning his true identity
Big Money, Reposter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. The Dodgers took a chance this offseason and signed former Los Angeles Angel Shohei Ohtani for a ten-year, $700...

March Madness takes a new form

March Madness takes a new form

64 teams compete in a single-elimination tournament to determine who can create the best memes
King Memememememe, Reposter April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. March is an important time of year for college basketball programs across the country, but studies have shown...

editorial

You don’t read the Trinitonian? Keep that to yourself

Ivanna Job-Bek, Currently Unemployed April 4, 2024

This piece is entirely satirical as a part our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian. I’m going to level with y’all: working for the Trinitonian as long as I have has not been a wholly pleasant...

Come one, come all! Witness the horrors of the newsroom

Come one, come all! Witness the horrors of the newsroom

Logan Crews, Editor-in-Chief March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. The Trinibonian newsroom has a certain reputation for being far away, dark and slightly dingy. Tucked...

The RA hall of fame

The RA hall of fame

Hear some of the heroic acts of your friendly neighborhood resident assistants
Bomar Batrut, Pulse Reporter March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. Resident assistants (RAs) core responsibility is the management of residential spaces. RAs are typically...

Einstein Bros: Bagel bros go solo

Einstein Bros: Bagel bros go solo

Students' takes on the unsure future of the bagel giant
Biya Bankamamidi, Pulse Reporter March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here https://trinitonian.com/category/special-sections/ Lately, one news story has been breaking the internet:...

Behind the scenes with Trinity tours

Behind the scenes with Trinity tours

Looking at the university through the eyes of a prospective student
Balika Bhauhan, Pulse Reporter March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here.  On the most recent Tiger Friday, a group of prospective students made their way around Trinity’s...

Junior Adam Garza donning a pretend mustache.

Jackpot! Daniel Martinez becomes Trinity’s first octuple-major student

Batherine Barr, Pulse Editor March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. Daniel Martinez, sophomore accounting, ancient Mediterranean studies, anthropology, applied chemistry,...

Leeroy body pillow with a crown and price tag

The campus bookstore NEEDS to sell LeeRoy body pillows

It’s absurd that these furry snoozing companions don’t already exist
Biya Bontractor, Copy Editor March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here. The campus bookstore should consider a release of a brand-new and sought-after commodity: body pillows,...

Meet Trinity's newest org, the Possum Alliance

Meet Trinity’s newest org, the Possum Alliance

Members of the newly formed club aim to get possums the same respect as the Trinicats
Bonica Bartinez, News Reporter March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here https://trinitonian.com/category/special-sections/ One night, freshman sociology major Adam Marsupialski...

Rats return to campus with a vengeance

Rats return to campus with a vengeance

This time, the rodents set their eyes on more than just Bruce Thomas Residence Hall
Barah Bisher, News Editor March 30, 2023

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here.  In 2022, the rats came for Bruce Thomas Residence Hall. A year later, they came back for the rest...