Trinitonian

Well, that transition was short-lived

Trinity to switch from Workday Student to Microsoft Excel for class registration

Bonica Bartinez, Reporter • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Since transitioning to Workday on March 15, students have broadly expressed their support for the...

LeeRoy commits a fur-paw

Former Trinity mascot in custody after being declared a “furry” by Texas government

Canne Sulled, Snoozer Loser • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here After governor Richard Abbey passed the FURRIES Act (HB6969) on April 1, LeeRoy was arrested by...

Trinibonian Events

Hot Rod, Editor • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here STAFF PICK | LINKEDIN IS THE NEW TINDER Looking for a career-driven lover to wine and dine? The...

‘Honestly a pretty cool dude’

The Sludge opens up about Trinity presence

Hambag Girdle, Damaging Editor • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here You know him by many names: Slop, Goop, That Disgusting Stuff On The Sidewalk, but he says he only...

GOOD NEWS!!! TWO MORE WHITE GUYS GOT A PODCAST

Waddy Worrom, Reporter • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Rejoice! The moment everyone has been waiting for is finally here! Two more white guys have started...

Nature or sabotage?

Shameron Kill attributes sub-par season to mosquito in his office

Cailyn Austin, Squirts Editor • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here After a disappointing 2024-25 season for Trinity women’s basketball, many were left wondering...

Trinity sports are super dope… too dope?

Trinity somehow passes policy permitting doping in athletic competitions

Cailyn Austin, Squirts Editor • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here On April 1, Trinity’s athletic director Kob Bing rolled out a policy that stunned the NCAA community....

Forget in-person counseling, you’d BetterHelp yourselves

Trinity admin provides a brand-new alternative for mental healthcare

The Big D, Reporter • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Trinity has offered counseling services as a free resource to students for decades. However, next...

Perhaps it’s not all so bad for us

Take a hike to Trinity’s newest dining establishment: Perhaps Dining Hall

The Big D, Reporter • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Because Trinity is a small, residential school, many students rely on Mabee Dining Hall for reliable...

Mr. Beast announces new show, ‘The Unfeastable Games’

Stubbedmytoe, Reporter • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Famous YouTuber and philanthropist Mr. Beast announced his plans on X this weekend to create a new...

Five spring styles you won’t want to miss

Stun on campus with these up-and-coming fashions

Banana Wintour, Reporter • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here It’s officially spring! Every new season is a new opportunity to reinvent yourself, and we at...

Trinity takes NCAA mandate a step further

Trinity acts for women’s safety in sports, banning certain genetic makeups and builds from competition

Shy Shy Lebeauf, Reporter • April 3, 2025

This piece is entirely satirical. Read the rest of our April Fool’s edition, the Trinibonian, here Trinity has taken the NCAA and Trump administration’s stance further, banning all female athletes...